Thursday, January 31, 2013

Disaster

I am a disaster. In so many peoples eyes I am a great guy, Im funny, nice, kind, have manners, and put others first. But, in my own life im just a piece of shit. Nothing, I do is correct to them. I have made mistakes, I have done some things wrong, I have messed up plenty, but not anymore. I keep pushing and pushing to prove I am not the same person that I use to be. I try so hard to be what this family wants, what this family loves, but I am not, im the pain to everything they are. I cant eat, I cant sleep, I cant function right anymore. No one can even undrstand the shit I freaking go thru. Im sick I am sick and tired of just being some freaking criminal to people. Why cant I get a damn hug when I walk in the door, or be told I am proud of you. All I do is a mistake. Your room has locks bolts, you have cameras, and yet im still being blamed for stealing things, Im blame for being a criminal. I dont understand this at all. But yet your man is a sexual perve and you trust him completely? Why cant someone just love me, love me and tell me their proud of me. I just need a home where people tell me they love me, im sick of this house here. Always being told to leave, always being told that im a problem, days like these just make me want to give up. I just want to start over, start over in a new home where people love me, people tell me they care, :'(. 

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